Monday, April 8, 2013

All too soon...

...this surrogates tale has come to an end.  But my life as Gabriel's godmother is just beginning!  Here's his birth story:

·              At my Level II ultrasound and 20 week OB appointment, when asked if I had any concerns, I mentioned that I had been having a large amount of discharge. I was secreting such large amounts, that I had taken to wearing panty liners to stay dry. I was told that this was a "common occurrence in pregnancy and to call the office if the consistency of the discharge changed or was tinged with blood...now go home crazy woman."  Okay, maybe not that last part.
About two weeks later, as I was dressing for the day, there was this small gush and when I checked it out, it was thin like water.  I called the OB’s office and was told to go to the women's hospital triage unit for an assessment. When I got there, the doctor examined me and said that told that there was a large amount of "some kind of fluid".  She took a swab to determine if amniotic fluid was present, and returned about 10 minutes later and said that the results were negative.  I was told, again, to watch for blood or a gush of fluid (wait, what?) and was sent home sans that feeling of relief one gets after being dismissed with a clean bill of health.
3          Two weeks later, I had my 24 week exam.  My IM was there for the appointment and had questions concerning the "discharge".  I told the doctor about my visit to the triage center and she confirmed that she had read the report concerning my visit.  I told her that I was still experiencing a watery discharge and that I wasn’t confident about the test results.  She assured me that the discharge was not amniotic fluid, and that an increase in discharge was normal in pregnancy.  I was given the same signs to look out for as before, and the appointment was over.  
            Two days later, I woke up feeling “off”.  It felt as though the baby was sitting very low in my pelvis, and I felt a small amount of back pain.  I took my husband to work and dropped my daughter off at school.  I decided to stay off my feet for the rest of the day and keep tabs on what I was feeling.  At about 11:30 a.m. I felt a small, barely painful twinge.  I felt it again about an hour later.  By the time I had to pick my daughter up from school at 2:30p.m., I had experienced four of these twinges.  In the car, on the way to her school, I had a REAL contraction.  I called my husband so he could meet us at the hospital, and then called the doctor’s office to let them know that I was going in.  I was hooked up to contraction and fetal heart monitors when I got there, and had several contractions that were starting to become uncomfortable.  After confirming the contractions, a cervical check was performed, and it revealed that I was dilated 3cm, and the bag of waters was bulging.  I cried hysterically for about 5 minutes, calmed down, and called my IP's to tell them what was happening.        
            They were coming from about an hour away, so in the meantime, they did an ultrasound to discover some more crappy news.  Gabriel was footling breech, and his foot was lodged in the opening of my cervix.  I was there to stay. I was given the first dose of steroids to help the baby’s lungs mature, and an IV drip was started.  I was taken up to Labor and Delivery, where I was started on antibiotics, Indocin, to stop the contractions, and Magnesium to try and prevent cerebral palsy in the baby.  
            Shortly after, my IP's arrived and the neonatologist gave us the good, the bad, and the ugly rundown. The chances of his survival were slim, and the chances of him not having any brain damage or a defect of some kind were even slimmer.  We all cried.  The goal was to keep me pregnant as long as possible, so we all crossed our fingers and I got ready for what we were hoping would be a very long stay. I was not allowed any food or water, as there was a chance that an emergency c-section would need to be performed.  I was placed on contraction and fetal heart monitors and was watched throughout the night.
            The next afternoon, it was decided that I would be moved upstairs to the Recovery floor since the Indocin seemed to be working, and the contractions had stopped.  I was allowed to eat, drink, and use the toilet instead of a bedpan.  Hallelujah!  When I got there, I decided to utilize my new found toilet freedom, got up, and felt a large gush.  I thought that the bag of waters had ruptured, but when I looked down, I saw that it was blood, and lots of it. A bunch of people in scrubs rushed in, I was asked if I was experiencing any pain or dizziness, neither of which was happening, and a gurney was wheeled in.  I climbed onto it, and the resident physician performed an exam and determined that I would be safer back in L&D. 
            After the move, I was given the second dose of steroids for the baby’s lungs, and we held our breath and hoped that he stayed in for the 24 hours it took for the steroids to reach full efficacy.  Once again, I was prohibited from eating or drinking and was not allowed to use the bathroom. We were given possible explanations as to where and how the bleed could have occurred, but that’s as far as they went to figure it out.  
           After the rest of the day passed uneventfully in L&D, at about 11:30 pm, it was decided that I would once again be moved to the Recovery floor.  Before being transferred, I was allowed to eat some fruit and drink some juice and water. I still was not allowed to go to the restroom, however.  Le sigh.
      The next afternoon, I felt a large gush of fluid as I was lying down in bed talking to my IM about Kim Kardashian's inability to not spend her money on stupid things like vampire facials.  An exam confirmed that my bag of waters had broken.  We were told that the baby could survive for a while in the womb after the amniotic sac had ruptured as the amniotic fluid would be replenished in small amounts. I am given my last dose of Indocin, and we wait.   
            Throughout the following morning, I feel the leaking of amniotic fluid.  During a routine BP and temp check, my nurse notices that the baby’s heart rate is somewhat erratic and there is a slight rise in my temperature.  She is concerned enough that she decides to notify the doctor.  THANK GOD FOR NURSES!  The doctor tries to do an exam, but can’t see my cervix due to all of the blood and fluid in the canal.  She decides that I should be moved back down to L&D for further examination.   
             Not long after the transfer, an anesthesiologist brings paperwork for me to sign to consent to general anesthesia during a c-section.  I sign it and an ultrasound machine is wheeled in, and lo and behold, there is absolutely no amniotic fluid in my uterus.  He decides to do a cervical check to see if there has been any further dilation, and finds that not only is there a prolapsed cord, but also that the baby’s foot is through my cervical opening.  It's go time.  The doctor keeps his hand firmly against my cervix as they break down the bed to run me to Operating Room.  He then switched places with a nurse who positioned herself between my legs and rode with me to the OR, all the while pushing forcefully against my cervix until I am screaming out in pain.  They get me to the OR and there is a flurry of activity that I can hear, but can’t see.  A mask is placed over my mouth and nose and I am told to breathe deeply, and I take as many deep breaths as I can.  I feel them preparing my belly for the incision and I pray to God that the anesthesia kicks in before they get that far.  I am still conscious, and I’m told that intubation can’t wait.  I am told to raise my chin, and open my eyes and mouth and the tube is placed in my mouth and snaked down my throat.  Seconds later, the anesthesia finally works and I am unconscious.  I am so glad that of all the prayers I've sent up, that this is one of the ones God decided to answer!
             I wake up to hubby's very relieved face.  My throat is on fire, and the lights are hurting my eyes, but I manage to croak " No more kids."  After the nurse decides that I'm okay to leave the OR recovery area, I am taken to the NICU to see Gabriel.  Since I'm on the gurney, I can't get really close to his isolette, but I can see that he is tiny and beautiful with a lot of dark hair.  He looked so much better than I expected that I cry tears of joy and relief.  He was born on St. Patrick's Day, weighing 2lbs 2oz, and measured in at 13.5 inches long!  By day 2, he was off the breathing tube and now he is receiving low levels of oxygen via nasal cannula and has a feeding tube and heart monitor.  That's all. :)  We thank God EVERY DAY that he is doing so well and we pray that it stays that way.  While we are aware of all that could happen, we are optimistic that he will be okay.  :)
             After examining the placenta, pathology has found the reason for my premature labor.  Apparently, there was an infection in the placenta.  It was so bad, that the pathologist said that it was a miracle that Gabriel did not die in utero, and that if he had stayed in much longer, he would have died.  He is truly a little miracle and definitely has the luck of the Irish with him. :)



Friday, January 25, 2013

18 weeks! Whuuut?!

18 weeks, 2 days to be exact.  Things are going great and both the little bub and I are healthy.  I'm up one pound after losing 22.  My OB is very happy with that seeing as I was a huge, unsightly beast of a woman before cycling.  Seriously, I was overweight, but so much emphasis is put on weight at this practice, that it's RIDICULOUS.  I weighed 182 when the cycle started.  Overweight, but BP and everything was perfectly normal.  The way they made it seem, I should have been confined to my bedroom surrounded by levers and an apparatus to lift me when I needed to clean my gargantuan ass.  Ugh.  ANYWAY... baby's good, I'm good.  Time is flying.  S/he is destined to be a soccer star, and I couldn't be more excited.  Ta!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

12 weeks pregnant tomorrow. :)  Not much to report.  Nausea is now minimal and I'm finally getting some of my energy back.  I'm already wearing maternity clothes and just ordered a maternity coat since it's starting to get really cold here in Chicago!  Looking forward to finally getting the Christmas decorations up today (with hubby's help of course)!  I can't wait to start feeling this little nugget kick so that I can know that s/he is okay.  3 more weeks of progesterone and 1 more week of estrogen.  I'm really tired of my bathroom business smelling of chemicals. :\

Monday, November 5, 2012

Fast Forward!

So...it's been a while since I've posted, I know.  But an update was requested and here it goes... I'm currently 6 weeks 5 days pregnant!  We transferred 1 beautiful little 5 day embryo on 10/8, and after coming back from a week long vacation in Puerto Rico, I had my first Beta on 10/21.  It was a whopping 1005!  I am really hoping that this means that we have just one REALLY healthy little babe in there.  Thursday is our first ultrasound, so we'll be able to see what's going on in there. Everyone is over the moon and I am so looking forward to watching this little nugget grow!
I'm feeling pretty good (I know, it's early.  Lol!)  I'm always down for a nap and have slight nausea in the evenings.  No puking yet, though, and I hope to God it stays that way!!!!  ALSO, if you haven't yet, PLEASE get out and vote!  Make your voice heard!  Unless you're voting for Romney.  You can just stay home then.  ;)

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

My @$$...

...huuuurts!  That PIO shot is no joke!  Ouchie!  The best part is we get to do it every day.  Hooray!  Blurgh.

Anyway, retrieval went smashingly.  Our wonderful ED produced 18 beautiful eggs! :)  I can't wait to see what the fertilization report looks like.  We're almost there! :)

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Update!

Lining check went ok today. Clocked in at 7.4. It's not an 8, but it's close! The RE is confident that it will be at an 8 come transfer time, so we're not too worried. Transfer is scheduled for 10/8! Squee!
HCG and my first PIO shot tonight. I'm a little nervous (hubby is VERY nervous haha), but the excitement I feel at finally reaching this point in our journey far outweighs the nervousness.  

Our first BETA is scheduled for 10/21. It was supposed to the 17th, but I'll be vacationing in Puerto Rico til the 20th. I'm hoping a nice, relaxing vacation will be just what the little emby needs to decide to stay!

And good luck to Chelle on tomorrow's transfer! Many, many sticky vibes!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Curses!

Yesterday's ultrasound did not reveal the miraculous results we were hoping for.  My lining is now at 6.5.  We're all baffled by this, since with the mock cycle, I was at a 10 after eight days on Estrace.  Also, it seems that the ED is having a bit of trouble as well, so we've still got some time to get things right.  Transfer has been moved to the first weekend of October, as long as the ED is ready for retrieval by then.  It looks like we'll be transferring regardless of the thickness of my lining.  All fluffy vibes you'd see fit to send my way are GREATLY appreciated!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Fail.

Lining check didn't go to well yesterday.  Lining was only at a 6.  I was instructed to take my last dose of Estrace of the day, and stick it where the sun don't shine...in lady parts terms, that is.  I ave another lining check scheduled in 5 days.  Let's hope that I won't be sticking pills in my vagina for naught.

Monday, September 17, 2012

So much bullsh!t

Lots of stuff has gone down since my last post, so I'll just dive right in:
My Lupron dosage was lowered after my blood work and U/S on the 7th.  I also started Estrace the following Monday. I. AM. A. MESS. I'm tired, cranky, emotional, my breasts are sore and I'm breaking out worse than a nerd before Prom.  Oy.
I have my lining check this coming Friday, and I have a feeling that they'll be taking me off the Lupron and lowering my Estrace dosage.  I am so fluffy in there, that I can feel the weight change in my uterus.  It feels heavy and full like a huge water balloon.
The bullshit aspect of this post comes from a call I received from my aunt last Saturday. Our egg donor (who signed contracts and everything) was nowhere to be found.  *Poof* she just disappeared.  As she was supposed to start her meds this week, our RE's nurse was frantically calling this woman and after three days of leaving messages, the ED finally calls back and informs the nurse that she is in St. Louis because her father had been in a car accident.  I can understand rushing to the side of an ailing family member, but who runs off without informing their agency right before they're supposed to start their cycle?!  She informs the nurse that she won't be returning for another 2 or 3 weeks, so we'll just have to push the cycle back (GAH!).  I guess she thought that she was the goose in Jack and the Beanstalk, because she acted like her eggs were golden! 
 So, aunt and uncle decide to go with a donor who works through our fertility center, and everything is looking good until they go over the contract.  Apparently, if anything happens to the ED as a result of the donation process, IP's are held liable for all medical costs.  WHAT?  Yes, they were serious.  After an agonizing weekend of playing the what-the-hell-do-we-do-now game, the wonderful ED who works through our fertility center calls to tell us that she has her own (really good) coverage and that she will sign a statement saying that her insurance will be used in the case of any unforeseen complications.  THERE ARE STILL GOOD PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!  SO, after a very emotional weekend, we're still right on track and the new ED will be receiving her meds tomorrow. :)
Despite the emotional upheaval, something really good has come from all this: our previous ED's selling point was that she looked like IP's daughter and was a Yale grad, but she had never made a donation and didn't have any children of her own.  This made me nervous about the quality of her eggs.  However, our new ED has made two previous donations, both transferred 2 embryos, and both got pregnant with twins on the first try!  She may not be a Yale grad, but her eggs ARE golden! :)

Friday, September 7, 2012

Baseline Test

My date with the wand today went swimmingly.  Everything is as it should be and I start on Estrace on Monday.  I must say, that singing along to "Have You Ever Seen the Rain" during a vaginal ultrasound is probably one of the weirdest things I've ever done...well, in front another person anyway.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Itty Bity Update

Feeling good!  Baseline test tomorrow.  If everything looks good, I'll be starting Estrace tomorrow.  Chugging along... :)

Saturday, September 1, 2012

That was harder than I thought! (That'swhatshesaid)

Third day on Lupron, and I feel...fine.  No headaches or mood swings.  I'm having a little bit of trouble staying asleep and almost every time I hear Adele, I get teary-eyed.   But that's about it. :)
The first night I had to stick myself, it took me a good 5 minutes.  I just couldn't do it! I had never caused myself pain on purpose, and it is really hard to start after 31 years of living! When I finally quit being such a wuss, I found that it didn't hurt at all!

Last night, I made dinner to celebrate the recent engagement of two very good friends of ours.  The bride-to-be is in nursing school and was showing my husband the right way to inject me when progesterone time comes along.  They practiced by injecting bourbon into an orange and then they ate the orange.  What a fun way to learn how to do injections, and it comes with it's very own reward. ;)

I feel sorry for my husband.  Despite the fun of last night, he still seems really anxious about helping out with the PIO shots.  I know he'll do fine once he gets the hang of it, but still it's sweet to see how worried he is about hurting me. :)

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Great googley moogley!

Let the poking and cussing begin!



First injection tomorrow!  For those of you with experience, what's the best time of day to inject your meds?

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Things are happening!!!

I finally got my calendar!  I start Lupron on Thursday and we are scheduled for a September 29th transfer!  It feels real now, and I couldn't be more excited/nervous/happy.  Here's to hoping that two months from now, I'll have a BFP and some good, strong betas to show off.  :)

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Where's muh calendar?

Still waiting on my calendar.  Looks like the egg donor has yet to sign the contract, like I thought she had.  *le sigh*  Hopefully everything will be squared away by the end of the week.  We're so close I can taste the Lupron!

In related news, IM is starting to feel the pressure and fear of of the possibility of a failed transfer.  I think she was so busy getting everything done, that those feelings and thoughts were somewhat kept at bay.  I know I have been feeling/thinking this stuff all along.  I don't want them to be disappointed or broke with no beautiful little bundle of love to show for it! :(

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Come on September!

Everything is ready to go!  Contracts are signed and done, egg donor passed her screening, life insurance policy and estate planning sorted!  And now we wait some more.  Oy.  Will August never end?!!!

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Not at all surrogacy related, but...

...one of these days, I hope to go to a restaurant where the food is so good that after the first bite, I just get up and flip the the table over.  I would probably be banned from ever returning, but I would really hope that the chef realizes that my display was the highest form of praise.



Maybe I'm a little drunk.


But I meant EVERY WORD.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

No news is good news? Nope, not really.

So...we finally get a call from our attorney informing us that the final draft of the contract is ready for our signatures.  Oh, happy day!!!  I quickly send my aunt a text letting her know of the wondrous news.  And it turns out she has news for me: WE AREN'T CYCLING UNTIL SEPTEMBER.
Say what?!  Ugh.  
But at least we have something solid to look forward to now.
I don't know if I mentioned this in my last post, but I've been seeing a therapist to help prepare for the surrogacy.  She helps me to handle daily stresses (a.k.a. my husband and daughter) effectively so that I can concentrate on having a healthy pregnancy if we are lucky enough to be blessed with a successful transfer.
I had an appointment with her today and we discussed the possible reactions of my husband's family when they learn about the surrogacy.  We had decided from day one that we wouldn't tell them unless it was a viable pregnancy.  We're not very confident that our decision to do a surrogacy will be very well received.  I sincerely hope that this is not the case, but experience tells us that this won't go down easy.  Even my husband's parents (his dad is the IF's brother) aren't on board.  They wouldn't dream of letting my aunt and uncle know that they disapprove, but apparently, those rules don't apply to me.  Snide comments and that I-can't-believe-you-guys-are doing-something-so-crazy head shake, abound.  Grrrrrr.  There hasn't even been an embryo transfer and already so much negativity.  *sigh*

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The Return

I'm back!  By popular demand. I'm in control.  I've got the upper hand.  But no, not really.  

After a small detour, we are back on track for our surrogacy.  My IP's attorney has just finished up the contract, and next week we'll be seeing our attorney to dot the I's and cross the T's.  We should be able to begin cycling right away, as both the egg donor and I are on BCP's.  

I am so excited, I could shit.  I hope to God that it works on the first go, but I am preparing myself for the worst.  We are only going to try twice, so by the end of this year, we will either be on our way to welcoming a new family member or not.  I wish I knew how this is all going to play out!